How to Expand Time: Practicing Quiet and Calm Listening.


Dubbed “extrovert”, I was an expressive enthusiast for many of the first 30 years of my life. I was so familiar with the role, that I was nearly comfortable with the dis-ease it was prompted by. I have been practicing quiet intermittently for a few years. This has opened space to learn patience, calm listening, self-love, and boundary setting. As a beginner with this curriculum, I have come to wonder: how did I survive nearly three decades without these skills?

keep_quiet_by_firemisha

Picture Source

Calm listening expands time. One could say it’s mighty generous to be an active, inquisitive listener of a friend, colleague, or spouse. I’ve learned that the calm listener is doing the getting, to be sure! Consider the gifts:

  • The satisfaction of sharing in another’s experience.
  • The intimacy of entering and exploring the maze that the other is mapping at the moment.
  • The richness of observing human behavior, impulse, compassion, and interconnectedness.
  • The receipt of another’s knowledge pool of raw data that is inevitably distinct from my own.
  • The energizing wonderment in another’s attributes that make them unique from any other being, drive their purpose, and shape the lessons they entered this life to learn.
Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Through calm listening, I learn and share more inside of each precious moment. It expands time.

When practicing quiet, I am not always silent. I do speak! When? What are my words? What is my intention for speaking, and for the message, tone, and delivery I choose? The answers draw me nearer to knowledge of self. They also magnify opportunities for adjustments. Who do I want to be? I get to decide.

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

I used to be vocal when I disagreed. In practicing quiet, I explore: what would have been my motive to say something?

    • Would it have been pure?
    • Would it have been to try to change another person… to change their mind? If so, then why?
    • Would it have been to satisfy curiosity, to engage in debate, or test my argumentative prowess? If so, then why?

I observe the result of not speaking up. Quieting when I disagree makes me feel like I’ve deceived another and myself. There must be another option, beyond the saying or not saying, as intention-guiding leaders have shown us. I think of peace-evoking Martin Luther King Junior, Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, and the Dalai Lama. Who do you think of?

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Compassion involves seeking to understand another’s opinion, to understand the foundation another balances upon to form their opinion, and most importantly, to understand the experience that may have led another to build that foundation. In this intention, an interaction escalated by differing opinions, likely indicates I have many more questions to ask, and responses to calmly listen to. In some cases, the other’s intentions may be to confuse, harm, or enmesh. The most compassionate practice may be to state acknowledgement of difference and quickly disengage.

I am a beginner in this curriculum. A starry eyed, eager novice, reinforced by the fruit of my triumphs and hiccups. And so, I continue trying.

Silenced Enjoyment, Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Silenced Enjoyment, Iguazu Falls, Argentina

I invite you to join me in my favorite mantra for the time:

“May all beings be peaceful and know they are loved.”

Thank you for reading, beautiful people! Squeeze hugs, from Annie at Biocadence.

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About Biocadence

Hello! I’m Annie Tichenor, Founder of Biocadence, LLC (www.biocadence.wordpress.com). I hope to ignite a path toward over-consumption recovery, global sibling interconnectedness, and quality-of-life design. A few years ago, I began measuring my impact on the environment. Since then I’ve analyzed my energy-use habits while researching the impact of over-consumption on the global hunger epidemic, global relations and global quality of life. This process has driven me to notice the disparity between my environmental impact in the past and my footprint goal for the future. My drive to change my own habits has evolved into a desire to share my strategies. I crafted the Biocadence Recipe and the Impact/Disturbance (ID) Model, to illustrate the critical role of behavioral sustainability in the sustainable lifestyle transition process. Biocadence is focused on increasing the accessibility of sustainable living and facilitating the rhythm of humanity in harmony with nature. The vision of Biocadence is to build a community of environment-lovers who come together to leverage each other’s knowledge and celebrate sustainable living accomplishments. Learn about the Biocadence Recipe and ID Model: http://www.biocadence.org/biocadence.html

6 responses to “How to Expand Time: Practicing Quiet and Calm Listening.”

  1. A New Path says :

    I love your blog. This is very inspiring and I hope more people look within and take the journey. Even if done imperfectly, we can all make the world a better place by being fully present with our fellow earthlings.

  2. Shakti Ghosal says :

    This is a lovely post.

    Yes, quietness not only expands time but also our consciousness of “here & now”. The art of listening can be so empathetic and as we engage in it, we transform ourselves into a support structure for the other person.

    Shakti

    • Biocadence says :

      Thank you for always having such a thoughtful comment for us, Shakti! I love the imagery you use! Quiet and listening is such a gift to self and to others. Practice of self love is required in order to experience the satisfaction of presence, as I think one must like to be with oneself in order to be calm and present in silent moments. We sure can use a dose of this encouragement in a culture where self-loathing is rampant!

      Have a beautiful day!
      Annie

  3. cheri says :

    Hi Annie,
    You might already follow these two sources, but I thought I would share them with you anyway. They are so inspiring! Just like you!

    https://www.facebook.com/SoulGuidanceEachOneReachOneTeachOne?ref=stream
    http://www.deltawaves.com.au/

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